I think it’s safe to say that everybody has a bad day come and visit them every once in a while. Sometimes more often, sometimes less. They’re never fun to deal with and we never went them, hence the name bad day, but that’s just a part of life and we have to be able to cope with them, right?
This past Sunday was a rather bad day for me. Nothing major happened, but I had some expectations set for the day and I was excited and looking forward to the day all week long, but then someone at the last moment decided to change plans on me and essentially my whole day was ruined. I was upset and frankly didn’t want to do anything after that.
Most of the time nowadays, I’m pretty good at just letting things go. A few years ago that wasn’t the case. I would get pissed off at the smallest things. I’d yell and throw whatever was closest to me (all in the privacy of my own place, never in front of somebody). I’d let things build up in me over time then just explode at something stupid like not being able to fit a lid on my tupperware properly. Then I’d just destroy the tupperware like I was showing it who was really in charge. I know, a real bad ass.
Since I’ve started reading more books on personal development and have shifted my focus onto my larger goals, things have changed. I’ve learned other ways to cope with stress and for the last couple of years I know I’ve been improving. I no longer throw things so I’d say that’s a good start. I know it’s childish too so I had to stop. Plus I always hated cleaning up the mess I would make.
I’ve seen a psychologist as well and I have to say it’s so nice to just talk to somebody that has no knowledge of you and no judgment of you. They’re just there for you and they have open ears. There’s no pressure, no nothing. You just go in and talk about whatever you’d like. Most of the time things that are bothering you then you leave.
I’m going to be real with you all because I don’t want it to seem like my life is all sunshine and rainbows which is so easy to do by just writing behind a screen and choosing the parts of my life that you get to read about. Life is not easy. I’m not happy everyday. I don’t wake up with a smile on my face just because I’m alive. I get hurt, physically and emotionally. I beat myself up enough mentally saying things like I’m not good enough, my body isn’t good enough, who am I to be doing the things that I’m doing. And most of the time, to top it all off, I just don’t want to do anything. Take this morning for example. I woke up at 4:45am and went straight to the gym. Do you really think that’s what I wanted to do? Heck no! It’s freaking freezing in my house and I’d rather stay in bed under my blankets with my dog laying next to me!
However, I believe there is plenty of good that can come from bad days and bad situations. Without some of my lows in my life I would have never reached the highs. Without struggles how would I know when things are going right? How would I know what I’m reaching for, aiming for, and trying to achieve?
When I ran a half-marathon it sucked so much. Seriously, when I was running I kept asking myself, “why did I ever agree to do this?” I would’ve been happy to quit at anytime when running. (Honestly it probably wouldn’t have been so bad had I not only began running two weeks prior. Learn from your mistakes, right? haha) I know that if I had quit, the feeling of failing would’ve swept up on me and made me a prisoner, always knowing that I didn’t finish that race no matter how many others I would go on to complete. So I kept going, one step at a time. I wasn’t competing against anybody else, but myself and my mind. I have to say, in the end, the struggle and pain I felt throughout and for the few days after the race were well worth the feeling of true accomplishment.
I think that’s exactly how life is. There’s moments and days where I’d just like to quit. Where I’d just like to sell all three of my properties, work a job for the rest of my life, settle with retiring at 65, take a week long vacation every year, and never really try to do anything special with my life. But then I get a jolt run through my body. I’m having one as I write this. It’s a reminder that I can’t quit because I know that if I were to stop going down the path I am, I would be forever filled with regret. I’d ask myself, “what could have been? How far could I have gone? Did I waste my life or give it all that I had?” Those questions would destroy me because I would know the answer and the one thing we can never get back is time.
So I’m going to keep going, one step at a time, competing only against myself, and knowing that no matter how bad things get I can make it through as I’ve done before and I’ll be proud of my effort, accomplishments, and of my life.
How about you?